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200+ Funny Wishes, Messages and texts for Valentines day. Funny Love Poems for Him or Her

31.01.2020
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Here you find our collection of Funny messages and texts for Valentines day and Funny Love Poems for Him or Her

If I could, I would wrap up all my love for you and put in a gift box. But they don't make boxes large enough!

Funny messages and texts for Valentines day


Love is in the air! So don't hold your breath!

From now until forever, I'll stand by you. My love for you is XXXL!

You are my sweet Valentine, I like you like a fat kid likes a cake!

Nice suit (or dress)! But you know what would look even better on you? ME!

We go together like the Sun and the Moon,
Like brush and paint,
Like salt and pepper,
Like cupcake and frosting,
Like copy and paste, Like hugs and kisses!

I love you because you are my life!

Valentines day is the perfect day to tell you those 3 special words... Let's get naked!

I wish you a Happy Valentine's Day with all my heart, and lungs, and liver, and spleen...!

It's not just a bunch of random numbers! They are my phone number!

2020 Valentine's day To do list:

1. You!
Some bunny loves you, my boyfriend (girlfriend)! My big ears tell me you're great, that makes me hop up and down and wag my bunny tail.
Your Valentine card cute

Funny Valentines poems 2020 for friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife

Funny messages and texts for Valentines day
To my beloved wife (husband). You are the pot of gold at the end of my rainbow. And you don't disappear when I get close to you!!!
I hope that this is not too strong,
But can these feelings be so wrong?
I want to know you so much more,
Don't leave Saint Valentine at the door!

Plenty of love,
Tons of sweet kisses,
Hope that one day,
I'll be your Misis!

Doing absolutely nothing with you means absolutely everything to me!
I know that love can sometimes change,
And feelings often can be strange.
Yet how I feel's no mystery,
I love you more than cake and tea!
You are lucky to have Me! And vice versa ;)

If you'll be my Valentine,
I'll hold you so close,
And give you a candy
With a little red rose!

It doesn't mean you are my girlfriend (boyfriend) or anything like that. I just like your eyes and your smile! :)
This Valentine's Day won't pass you by,
For Cupid's flying in the sky.
He sees the love I have for you,
His arrow's sharp and aim is true.

He'll never miss so nor shall I,
I'll love you till the day I die.
Every day I fall more in love with you. Except on those days you really piss me off... (fortunately, today is not that day!)

Roses are red,
Hellebores are green,
Take me to Valentines dinner
Or I'll make you a scene!

What would love be without a little laughter? Funny love poems can show your partner that you love them while also making them smile, and what could be better than that? Many times we want to share our feelings with our partner, but sometimes people feel uncomfortable using serious love poems. Instead we can use funny poems about love to convey our emotions with a hint of humor. Here you will find
1) funny love poems for her
2) funny love poems for him and
3) short funny love poems for him or her both. Enjoy!

Funny Love Poems for Her

 Funny messages and texts for Valentines day
The time has come to pop the question,
Will you spend your life me?
And before you answer I want you to know,
A “yes” comes with a shopping spree!

Read more:


Your beauty is so bright,
Your eyes shine like the twilight.
Your lips are so sweet,
To kiss them would be a treat.
I still can’t believe that you are my girl,
You are, by far, the best thing in my world.
Please know I’m not saying this because you are mad,
But if you feel like forgiving me, honey, I’d be so glad!

***
Honey, if you’ll please recall,

The day we met I was not smooth at all,
So please give me another chance right now,
To hit on you again and make you say wow!
I need a map because I’m lost in your eyes,
I must have won a contest and you must be my prize!

***

Can I take a picture of you to show Santa what I want?
You look so delicious you must own a restaurant!
Look at you with all those curves and me with no brakes,
I’ve gotta ask do you want some fries with those shakes.

***

Roses are red and violets are blue,
Be my Cinderella, because the shoe fits you.

***

I must be dead, cuz I see an angel right now,
You’re so gorgeous you should take a bow.
Oops, I lost my phone number, could I have yours?
So you’re the reason for all of those wars!

***

Apart from being beautiful, what do you do for a living?
Would you like to be a queen, so I can be your king?
I was taught to pursue my dreams, so I’m gonna chase you, okay?
Your feet must hurt from running around in my mind all day.

***

I’m sorry I forgot all these pick-up lines when we first met,
But if you’ll recall that’s cuz of all my drool and sweat!


***

They say that I’m not good enough for you,
And perhaps what they say just might be true.
They tell you to leave me and cast me aside,
To lock all the doors and kick me outside.
But I’ve got one last plea to say in the end,
I’m not the only one who forgot the name of his girlfriend!

***

I can rise and shine, but not at the same time,
You’ll have to pick one, or you’ll miss all the fun.
It’s the wrong side of the bed, or the pounding in my head,
It must be all that beer, but there’s nothing to fear.
For despite my bad smell, I plead you not to yell,
And though I am lazy, please don’t get all crazy.
After all, I’m a man, I’m a male, just a guy,
And you knew what you were getting into when you gave us a try!

***

Did you notice I remembered to put the seat down?
And that I washed all the dishes last night?
Were you aware of how attentive I was,
When you came home in such a fright?
You may have noticed, I’m doing so well,
Listening to all the things you request.





I’m adapting myself and becoming a better man,
I even massage you when you are stressed.
Remember the day I took the trash out,
And wiped down the counter so well?
If you’ll recall I made breakfast in bed,
I’m trying so hard, can’t you tell?
And just in case you hadn’t noticed,
This poem is especially for you.
And if you don’t like it, my darling angel,
Well, sorry, there’s just nothing I can do.
 

***

Ok, my dear, I’ve prepared my vows,
I hope you’re ready to hear lots of wows.
I vow to eat all the food you make for me,
I vow that I’ll wipe from the seat all the pee.
I vow to never forget your birthday,
I vow that I’ll always let you have the final say.
I vow to tell you the truth eventually,
I vow that I will always find a way to agree.
I vow to do my best to let you always be right,
I vow that I’ll give up at the end of each fight.
I vow to listen carefully to all your concerns,
I vow that you’ll get twice as much when we take turns.
I vow to do the laundry, to vacuum and clean,
I vow that I’ll do my best to always stay lean.
I vow to have written all these words all alone,
Just don’t check wishespoems.com, and if you do, I atone!
I hope you like these vows, they’re all originally written by me,
And if you don’t like them, blame wishespoems.com…after all, they were free!

Please share these funny love poems for her. Spread the love! Every little bit helps!

Funny Love Poems for Him


Funny messages and texts for Valentines day
***

How did you get to be such an amazing man?
Never have I seen someone who can do all you can.
I look at you and gasp in awe,
You are the best that I ever saw.
You are the perfect man for any woman,
You’re just so good at making me grin.

***

Everything you do is so perfect for me,
You are precisely my cup of tea.
Now I suppose I should give credit where credit is due,
And remind myself that I did a great job re-training you!

***

My handsome and wonderful man, I love you,
I feel like my life is so fresh and so new.
Thank you for all that you do for me,
It’s because of you that I feel so very free.
You truly are the best man in town,
Now do me a favor and put the f@*$ing seat down!

***

I tried to write funny love poems for you,
I attempted as well some cute and silly ones too.
But it seems I haven’t yet learned how to rhyme,
So, I beg of you honey, please give me some time.
One of these days I will figure it out,
Until then I hope that you will not pout.
Trust me, my man, you really do inspire me,
I’m just not good with words, as you can plainly see.
It’s not that easy to come up with love poems, you know,
So for now I’ll just find another way for my love to show.

***

2nite and 2moro I’ll be texting you some TLC,
IMO it will make you LOL,
OMG! BRB, J/K I’m still here,
BTW, thx for listening, ILY so much,
It’s so nice 2 have a man who understands me!
XOXO! CU!

Funny Love Poems for Him

Funny messages and texts for Valentines day
***
Please wine me and dine me,
Please show me a good time,
After all, I’m a lady,
And I even can rhyme!

***

I miss you when you’re not near me,
I long for you when we’re apart.
Never before have I met such a man,
Who could so completely heal my heart.
I had many days of pain and sorrow,
And then you came along.

***

Now suddenly my heart is whole,
And I’m singing you this song.
These words just can’t express,
What I truly wish to say.
So you’ll just have to trust me,
And be my fiancé!

***

I know you got a thing for me,
But there’s a few things I first must say.
If you really are interested in me,
Then you must know these things today.
I’m not the perfect girl,
I will annoy and anger you,
I’ll nitpick and complain,
Until my face turns blue.
I may yell and shout a lot,
And I’ll carry on for a while.
I’ll tell you to shut up sometimes,
And to wipe away that smile.
I may whine and kick and scream,
If I don’t get my way.
And remind you that you’re useless,
And even ask you if you’re gay.
I’ll tell you not to hang out with friends,
And forbid you from staying out late.
You’ll never get to hold the remote,
And I’ll do all sorts of things you hate.
Don’t forget you’ll have to go shopping,
And wait for me for hours,
I’ll make you do the laundry,
And require you to buy me flowers.
But don’t you worry, don’t you fear,
You already know I’m a catch by now,
I just wanted to remind you, honey,
I’ll put up with you somehow.

Short Funny Love Poems for Him or Her


Funny messages and texts for Valentines day


***

I gaze at you in awe,
Your beauty leaves me speechless,
I long for your touch,
And I yearn for your kiss.
I can wait no longer,
I can’t leave my heart on the shelf,
Oh whoops, I’m sorry,
I forgot to introduce myself!

***

The day we met I still remember so clear,
My heart beat with love as you came near,
Please know that I’m sorry I forgot our anniversary,
But please don’t make me take a test on our love history!

***

My love, you are the yin to my yang,
You’re the ice to my cream,
You are the pop to my corn,
You’re the day to my dream.
You are the honey to my bee,
You’re the sugar to my spice,
You are the sweet to my heart,
You’re the white to my rice.
Oh shoot, I’m so sorry!
I forgot you switched to a brown rice, low-carb, sugar-free diet!

***

My dear, I love you so much it hurts,
I ache to be close to you.
My heart beats wildly out my chest,
Without you I’m so sad and blue.
I’m dizzy with love, I fear being apart,
And despite the pain, I’ve got to say,
Please tell me that you know CPR, my dear,
Because you’ve taken my breath away.

***

I cannot live without you,
Let’s never be apart.
Never did I imagine,
There’d be someone with whom I could fart.
You’re the greatest thing that’s in my life,
My heart fell in one foul swoop,
Now how ’bout we take it to the next level,
Wanna hang out while I poop?

***

I love you so much, you’re so perfect to me,
You’re gorgeous and smart, you make me happy.
Your talent amazes me, you’re so good at all things,
You’re better than anyone at plucking my heart strings,
And now that you know and you’re in a great mood,
Please do me a favor and make me some food!

Funny messages and texts for Valentines day
I’ve got to ask are you Facebook?
Please tell me if it’s true,
I’m pretty sure you are indeed,
Because, baby, I like you.

***

Wait a minute something’s wrong,
Something is missing in your name!
Oh, I know exactly what it is,
Our last name is not yet the same!

***

Red also:There’s something that I need to ask,
I’ve gotta know if it’s true,
Please tell me, are you an email?
Because I want to be attached to you!

***

Do you know how deeply I love you?
So deeply I don’t even need to finish this poem or even make it rhyme!

***

You must be a birthday, because each time you come near,
I get so very excited, and so very full of cheer!
You must be the new year, because each time you come round,
All I do is want to celebrate, and make a joyous sound!

***

My dear, I’ve got some important news,
Please know it’s nothing bad,
But today I had to X-ray my head,
And your picture is all it had!

Funny messages and texts for Valentines day
Did you know that I’m so good at rhyming,
And I can even exactly match the timing?
I can always find the just the right word,
And don’t need to find strange words like bean curd.

***

I can even rhyme with hard words like ‘angst’,
As I will show you right now by using the word ‘thanksed’.
I never go off topic, and you know I like tacos,
And I never repeat myself, and you know I like tacos.



***

Everything I write is completely original and created by me,
And I was the first to say ‘you complete me’ and ‘love sets you free’.
I can naturally use poetic devices like alliteration,
And Sally sells seashells down by the station.

***

I never need to randomly add words to make a rhyme,
Because I’m a poetic master, it’s totally true, all the time.
Oh, by the way, I almost forgot,
This is a love poem for you, don’t think that it’s not.
And even though I’m super incredibly great at poetry,
This love poem is all about you, and not about me!

***
I love you so truly,
I love you so fine,
Please be with me always,
Please forever be mine.
Without you I’m empty,
There’s a deep void I feel,
It’s nagging and persistent,
A feeling only you can heal.
I need you my sweetheart,
I can’t live without you dear,
Because when your gone,
There’s no food to eat here!
 

***

I want you to know how deeply I feel,
And know that these wishes are so true and real.
May you have a bright and love-filled day,
And may all happy things come your way.
I wish for you many smiles and laughter,
And to come home to my arms so happy ever after.
May it rain gumdrops, chocolate and money,
And I hope that today is comedic and funny.
And as you receive all these wonderful things,
Remember it was me who wished you all these blessings.
And know that these wishes were truly meant,
But just so you know, my cut is 50 percent!
We are a couple after all!

Funny messages and texts for Valentines day
I didn’t want to give you a fancy gift,
And risk you not liking it.
I didn’t want to take you out to eat,
Cuz perhaps the food is unfit.
And I didn’t want to give you a watch or jewelry,
For they might just wind up in some heap,
So I decided to create for you this love poem,
And, no, it’s not cuz I’m cheap!

We hope you enjoyed our Funny Love Poems and you and your partner had plenty of smiles and laughs! In this day and age, where life can be so hectic, enjoying funny love poems with each other can be a great way to reconnect and relieve stress together. Funny poems about love are a great way to keep life lighthearted and full of joy. Sharing funny love poems and laughing together is a great way to keep the flame of love and joy burning in your relationship.
Funny messages and texts for Valentines day
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